Any one of these is probably a bad sign...if you start to notice multiple
signs, just start running and don't look back.

#10: Replaces your pillow with a new 'asbestos-stuffed' pillow.

#9: Keeps dropping hints on how steroids could help improve your
physique...and more importantly, your sexual abilities.

#8: Installs a new X-Ray machine in the house...and every bump and
bruise now requires extensive X-Ray examination.

#7: The garden (where you spend hours a day) is now covered in
industrial strength pesticides.

#6: All silverware in the house is replaced with a new
lead-based variety.
#5: Calls your cell phone hundreds of times a day, ensuring that damn
thing is constantly glued to the side of your head.

#4: Insists on eating fish for every meal
(while some fish is good, too much =
mercury poisoning = hello cancer)

#3:   Tries to sell you on new medical procedure for colon cleansing...
plutonium enema.

#2:   Replaces all lighting throughout the house with tanning bed lamps.

And the #1 sign that your spouse is trying to give you cancer:

Every time you ask for something to drink, they offer you a bottle of
Chernobyl Springs Bottled Water.
Top 10 Signs Your Spouse Is Trying To Give You Cancer
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We, at, are not doctors. We are not medically trained or certified in any way
(if medical knowledge was measured in parenting skills, we'd be Britney Spears) and thus, all of the
claims and/or suggestions detailed on this site should not be taken as medical advice.  Always consult
your physician before beginning and/or modifying any alternative course of treatment.

We are, however, firm believers in the healing power of laughter. **Laughter has not been FDA
approved for the treatment of cancer or any other medical condition (except maybe depression, and
if it's not, it sure as hell should be)**